Where the Hell is Tesla? A Novel

star-only#1 Best Selling Sci-Fi Time Travel Book on Amazon.com • April 2015

star-only#8 Overall Bestseller, Audible.com • November 2015

star-onlyOver 750 Five-Star Reviews on Amazon (4.4 avg) and Audible (4.2 avg)

About the Book

It’s a sci-fi odsyssey. Comedy. Love story. And of course… it’s got Nikola Tesla. I’ll let Chip, the main character tell you more: “I found the journal at work. Well, I don’t know if you’d call it work, but that’s where I found it. It’s the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans. One of these plans was for an “Interdimensional Transfer Apparatus” – that allowed someone (in this case me and my friend Pete) to travel to other versions of the infinite possibilities around us. Crazy, right? But that’s just where the crazy starts.”

CHIP’S OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction: the events depicted in the collection of emails did not happen. I have never been in contact with a covert government group attempting to suppress knowledge of the lost journal of Nikola Tesla. I have not been threatened with death if I divulge the secrets contained inside. They did not buy me this handsome jacket (oh crap, you’re reading this – trust me, it looks great on me). They did not come to my place, and liquor me up, and offer to publish this book as a sci-fi comedy novel to throw the public off the trail of the real truth.

Or did they?

I’m kidding. Of course they didn’t.

Or did they?

God, I can’t keep my big mouth shut.


★★★★★ Without a doubt the funniest and craziest syfy adventure I’ve ever read… I made the mistake of reading this book in public and was laughing like a crazied mad man with tears in my eyes. NO BS. I had people glaring at me and hiding their children like I was some kind of lunatic. Great book. I can’t wait to read more from Rob Dircks.”

★★★★★ LOVED IT! I loved this book! Hysterical, interesting, cool, just awesome. I flew through it in a few days and laughed the whole way through. I love sci-fi, I love humor and this is the perfect mix of both. Loved!!”

★★★★★ We need more Bobo! Where The Hell Is Tesla? is one of the funniest books I’ve read in quite some time.”

★★★★★ Best comedy sci fi in a decade… a fun and hilarious romp through the multiverse with a group of very likable characters, witty and addictive writing.”

★★★★★ Rob Dircks’ narrative style and his characters’ surprising wit are a breath of fresh air for a genre that I have a great deal of love for but is all too often hit or miss.”

★★★★★ By far the most amusing, funniest and laugh-out-loud audiobook I have ever listened to!”

★★★★★ Buckle in and prepare to laugh out loud! I listened to it both in the car and at home and I’m sure passing motorists thought I was crazy driving with a big fat smile on my face.”

★★★★★ Immensely enjoyable! I absolutely loved this story. I need more books by this author.”

★★★★★ Hysterical and Sweet – The narration was fantastic! It made me laugh out loud on several occasions but it was surprisingly sweet too. I just adored it!

★★★★★ Coolest story & performance – Unlike any book I’ve ever heard- this one is crazy nuts pure entertainment….brilliant beyond the beyond!

★★★★★ Brilliant, Hardcore Sci-Fi For Any Reader. Five hours spent right can feel like an eternity, but in a good way. Go read this book.

Play an Audiobook Sample

About the Author


From Rob’s Blog


March’s FREE audio sci-fi short, “Their DNA Was No Longer The Same,” posted to Listen To The Signal Podcast

Hey guys! I just read an article yesterday, about Mark and Scott Kelly, the twin astronauts, and how Scott came back after a record length trip aboard the International Space Station, and they found that his DNA was no longer identical to his twin, Mark. What an intriguing premise for a story, right? And I’m also a twin, so the idea wouldn’t get out of my head. I decided to make this one a little more like a series on conversations I might have with my twin brother if we were astronauts and something like this happened, so it reads more like a radio play, with nothing but dialog. Enjoy! Check out March’s FREE original audio sci-fi short story “Their DNA Was No Longer The Same” here.


Rob & Dave Visit Garden City Park Elementary with Alphabert!

Rob and Dave kicked off their author school tour (okay, it’s just one school so far) with Mrs. Cipolla’s 2nd grade class at Garden City Park Elementary, sharing their first children’s book collaboration, Alphabert! An A-B-C Adventure!  The kids loved listening to Rob read the story and show them the …

The Goldfinch Blog

Rob Dircks on Author’s Cut Live with Tabitha Lord

A couple of weeks ago I had the privilege of being interviewed on Book Club Babble’s “Author’s Cut Live” with author Tabitha Lord. It was a rip, as we got to trade notes on our writing process, working for a client, and navigating the self publishing world. Check it out: …

The Goldfinch Blog

Rob Dircks Moderates Indie Author Day 2017 for NY Public Library

On October 14th, libraries across North America celebrated the second installment of Indie Author Day: a day where aspiring writers, published authors, library professionals, publishers and literary marketers come together to create community around local, independent authors.  This year over 2,000 authors participated in nearly 200 libraries across 40 states …

BooksThe Goldfinch Blog

Don’t Touch the Blue Stuff! (Where the Hell is Tesla? Book 2) Now Available!

The sequel to Where the Hell is Tesla? is HERE! SOMETHING CALLED THE “BLUE JUICE” IS COMING. FOR ALL OF US. Luckily, me (Chip Collins), Pete, Nikola Tesla, Bobo, and FBI Agent Gina Phillips are here to kick its ass, and send it back to last Tuesday. Maybe. Or maybe …

BooksThe Goldfinch Blog

Get a Sneak Listen to the audiobook for Don’t Touch the Blue Stuff!

This month, I’ve got something SUPER SPECIAL for you at the Listen To The Signal Podcast… the first three chapters of the audiobook for my brand new novel, Don’t Touch the Blue Stuff! It’s the sequel to the Audible bestselling Where the Hell is Tesla?, and is just as absurd/heartwarming/ridiculous as the first book. But there’s much more that’s new, and it’s not all rainbows and unicorns…


Go to the Goldfinch Blog to Read More…

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